Mulholland Falls shares a trait with another 90's film, Backdraft, in that both films have excellent casts, a good story but suffer from some of the worst dialogue ever put in a motion picture. Every thought a characters has is spoken on screen. Every line is written with no more substance than what is immediately on the surface. And every single attempt at humor is telegraphed so far in advance that the punchlines fall flatter than Jennifer Connelly from a plane.

It is almost heartbreaking watching stellar actors like Nolte, Palminteri, Malkovich and Dern spit out lines that sound like a fifth-grader wrote them. It is all the more shameful that the central mystery of the film is a rather intriguing one and not easily solved in advance.

Mulholland Falls is potentially great film that, due to lack of a good script doctor, turned out to be just painful to watch.

Lee Tamahori's Mulholland Falls gets a bad rap in some circles for being boring and uneventful despite its charismatic cast and opulent setting that's ripe for peppy action sequences. I think they are confusing boring with the concept of a paced and very slow burn, yet one with all the texture and richness of an action film, one that admirably decides to take the route of the old school noir, with loving care put into story and character, two elements which the action and violence live simply to serve, and not to take the driver's seat against. Or it's simply not some people's cup of tea, which is totally okay too. Personally though, I love a good L.A. cop yarn that has a story to go with the toughness. This one bears striking similarity to 2013's Gangster Squad, which also had Nick Nolte playing a 1940's Los Angeles cop in charge of a squad that operates outside of the law. That film is pure cheese, all razzle dazzle and no plot. Mulholland Falls falls somewhere between Gangster Squad and L.A. Confidential; not quite up to delving into the serpentine intrigue of the latter, yet infinitely more interested in telling a worthwhile story than the former. And tell it does, in high flying style that only a crime film set in that time period can do. Nick Nolte plays Hoover, a whiskey voiced, take no prisoners LAPD badass who heads up an elite anti corruption task force that operates far outside the red tape and pretty much do what they want to stomp out corruption. His squad consists of Michael Madsen, Chris Penn and a scene stealing Chazz Palminteri as the oddball of the bunch, with serious impulse control issues. A straight up dream cast of tough guys, and although I'll admit that Penn and Madsen are a tad underused, their presence alone boosts the film's credentials into an epic pantheon. The film revs up with a kicker of an opening sequence in which the squad severely roughs up a troublesome mobster (an uncredited William L. Petersen). "This isn't America, it's Los Angeles" Nolte growls to him, stating the tone of perverse lawlessness which permeated the city back then. Soon he's drawn into a tawdry scandal involving the murder of a young prostitute (Jennifer Connelly) who he previously had encounters with. The search leads him far and wide, crossing paths a sleazy photographer (Andrew Mcarthy), a dying air force tycoon (John Malkovich manages to ham it up even at his most laid back) and his stern lieutenant (Treat Williams). Nolte also has a poor jilted wife played nicely by Melanie Griffith in limited but effective screen time. The plot is hard boiled to the bone, with Nolte in one his most gruff mid career roles and loving every stressed out, rage fuelled second of it. The conclusion is his show, with a whacked out Palminteri in tow for a spectacular sequence set aboard a doomed military aircraft. The cast gets deeper, believe it or not, with Daniel Baldwin, Ed Lauter, Kyle Chandler, Titus Welliver, Louise Fletcher, Rob Lowe and Bruce Dern contributing gamely. This one's got style on it's side and then some, replicating a sense of time and place with the torque ramped up to near Sin City levels. Admittedly not perfect, but a pure and simple blast of a flick, in my opinion.

Mulholland Falls (1996): Dir: Lee Tamahori / Cast: Nick Nolte, Melanie Griffith, Jennifer Connelly, Chazz Palminteri, John Malkovich: This is a portrait of 1950's crime noir in a place where bodies are discovered and answers are sought. Nick Nolte plays detective Max Hoover who arrives at the bottom of an embankment where the body of a woman is found. Max recognizes her and immediately goes under denial mode as he struggles to find out who murdered her while keeping his relationship with her out of the public. His wife, Katherine is played by Melanie Griffith and she is frustrated with his lack of involvement until the truth surfaces. This leads to a conclusion that seems rather sudden and unresolved. The murder victim is played by the beautiful Jennifer Connelly and she is featured only in black and white flashbacks in all smiles engaging in sexual activity. Chazz Palminteri plays Max's loyal partner whose advice is often ignored but he steps up when his partner is in need of assistance. John Malkovich plays an ill General with a past with Connelly. Michael Madsen and Chris Penn play two of Hoover's men but their contribution is a total waste. Director Lee Tamahori attempts to capture the noir films of the 1940's but cannot rescue the screenplay from its corny delivery. It is a well crafted action caper that doesn't ask much other than to enjoy the view on the way down. Score: 6 ½ / 10